The Self Love Goals I've Set Myself For 2020

Outfit: Tank top - Primark / Sweatpants - Abercrombie & Fitch

Initially this post was written and ready to post with sweet little goals for myself to achieve this year. But after reading some inspiration blog posts, especially Lydia Millen Gordon's, and watching some new YouTube videos, most importantly Desi Perkins' latest upload, my mindset for this post completely altered. I instantly had to rewrite this post because I realised I had an opportunity to turn this from a fluff, easy-life piece to something with some impact. 

The last decade was life-altering for me. Many milestones happened and I went through a great deal. I learnt more about myself in the 2019 than I have in the years before. I truly became myself in this last year, figured out who I am, what I want from life and how I'm going to get it.

The most important lesson I've learnt from reflecting on the last decade is self-love and looking after myself. Besides going to the gym, eating healthier, cleaning my skin and so on, self-care comes from within. It's all about the mind and spirit because if those are not in harmony, then how can you expect to make progress. 

I've always been a person to other's happiness before my own, which I will always do. However I realised that I had not paid enough attention to my own happiness and what I want. I was clouded with self-doubt and comparing myself to others, without realising I cannot be someone other than myself. Loving myself was the only way to truly be whole and love others and life fully. 

Therefore 2020 has become the year of self-love, positive energy and authenticity. 

I had already written down in my notepad all the self-care goals I had and initially planned to keep those to myself. I planned to share with you those silly little goals like travelling, reading more, putting my phone away and so on. But something dawned on me today that said; "be real". 

Everyone's going through something, it's a fact. We can have everything in the world and still be unhappy. Something I came up with a month or so back was; 
"You have to be happy within, to be happy without."
What I mean by this is that happiness begins from the inside and once you cultivate that, happiness will automatically show up on the outside. But it can also be turned to say that if you're happy on the inside, nothing on the outside can effect that happiness, you don't need anything else on the outside. 

In a world where social media dominates our lives, where the media alone is full of negativity, people are tearing each other apart in comment sections, we need to pull back and realise that the only opinion that should matter to us is our own. I cannot tell you how long it took to drill this into me because of the little voices in my mind that told me that wasn't enough. But one day it finally clicked; my opinion is what matters, not someone else's who isn't in my inner circle or doesn't truly know me. 

With this in mind, my self-care goals have become the most important ones to consider this year and with this focus at the forefront of my mind already, within in this first week of 2020 I can already feel a big difference in my mind, body and soul. 

Here are a few goals I'm spending my time on this year of self-love:

• Your energy, your decision: The only person in charge of your energy is you. If someone is coming towards you with negative energy, that's not because of you. That's their problem, they are dealing with something that really doesn't have anything to do with you. Don't let that affect your positive energy! Let it radiate onto others. If something is getting to you, take a few minutes to pull back and find your positive centre again. As Desi Perkins' so wonderfully said: "2020 is the year that I'm protecting my energy", I think we all should. 
• If you wouldn't say it to your best friend, why say it to yourself? Another point inspired (and stolen) from Desi because this sat with me and it couldn't be more true. With negativity creeping around us, bad comments written here and there, take a moment to think about whether you should really let that affect you. Think about what you have been saying to yourself, when you look in the mirror or whenever you make a criticism toward yourself. Would you ever say those things to your best friend? No. Then why are you saying it to yourself. Notice the good things about you (even the flaws) and recognise that they make you you. Be positive to yourself.
• Accept things you can't change, instead use them to your advantage. You cannot control everything, it's simply impossible. Life will throw you curveballs, both good and bad. You can't change that, but you can choose how you handle them. Take them as positively as you can, even if they are awful. What can you learn from them? How can you grow? Use it to your advantage. 
• Give thanks. This is something I religiously started a couple of months ago and it's instantly makes my day more positive, even if I didn't get a good night's sleep. List three things every morning that you're grateful for and do the same before you fall asleep. Do it throughout the day if you feel like it! You can be thankful for just about anything. Even the terrible stuff. Take the time to be thankful to better your positive energy. Put those good things out into the universe because it'll return to you. 
• Take that much needed me time. This is one is definitely inspired by Lydia Millen Gordon because after reading her latest post and watching her vlogmas, me time has been a big focus for me. Go and do things that better your energy. Pamper yourself, take extra time to be more present, do things that make you happy. Reward yourself at least every week if you can! Whether it's going to get your nails done, going to see a film, putting your phone away, cuddling up on the sofa, doing an activity you've been putting off - whatever it is, make time for it. 

Lastly I wanted to share a goal in regards to my blog because that's why you're here and reading this! As I have decided to go full time with my blog, a major leap, it means that I am trying to find my through and learn as much as I can. I have vowed to create the content that I have dreamed off, be less critical of how I look or how pictures look before I post - I am going to be authentic. I've started this with the picture I've paired with this post. Me with no make-up, in sweats with washed hair (after a killer cardio session at the gym) and at home because that's authentic. That's real. And that's what I hope to deliver as we move forward. 

I plan to work extremely hard and deliver you content that lines up with my style and taste. Posts will be shared every Monday, Wednesday & Friday! Brace yourselves for a plethora of content unlike before. I would also love your input! What would you like to see more of? Would you prefer more on the blog or Instagram? Would you like me to restart a YouTube channel (something I've been thinking about)? What types of content would you like to see more of? Let me know in the comments below or DM/email me. I'll be carrying out polls on my IG stories this coming week, so if you want you can vote there. 

I'm truly excited for this new chapter, the new decade and year. I can't wait to make this blog and space more me and work harder than before, whilst also looking after myself. 

Here's to the roaring 20's, especially to you 2020! I can't wait to see what you have in store for me...

Lots of Love, 

Emily xx

Why I'll Be Making Goals and Not Resolutions for 2018

Happy New Year my lovelies! 

2017 has come and gone in the blink of an eye. It’s had its highs and lows for me. I graduated  from university, got my first job (which I love) and turned 21 all without having a panic attack because I’m a real adult now. The lows are something I’m not going to focus on or try to recount, because it had them but what I will do is look back and notice how they helped me grow and what I learnt from them.

As I move into 2018, I’m looking to be more positive. Even more so than I am now. I take and give everything with positivity. I’m somebody who cannot stand unnecessary negativity, so I choose not to accept it.In the last year, I’ve definitely learnt who the real people are in my life and I made the decision to remove the ones that weren’t. 

Something that we all think about as we approach a New Year is resolutions and I can already hear the eye rolls. And to be honest, I’m kind of there with you.

I always make resolutions or something of the sort and like the rest of you, end up either breaking or forgetting them by the end of January or in February. They are just an added pressure we put on ourselves every year.

The word “resolution” is not a very motivational word either. It literally means “a firm decision to do or not do something”. As positive as I am, I’m not feeling positivity towards it.

Some people are really good at keeping them, good for you girl (or boy) because damn teach me your ways. But some people don’t, like me. So I’ve decided to approach the dread resolution tradition in a new way for 2018. Instead of making resolutions, I’m going to set myself goals.

Goals are aims or desires that can be long or short term. They could be little or big. They are literally limitless and revolve around your passions. The motivational buzz you feel when you set yourself a goals is much more effective than the dread of a resolution. The thing that hinders is from creating a list of goals is the fear. Fear that we’ll never get there. Fear we will not be good enough. Fear that life will get in the way. Fear that people will judge us and criticise.

But the only person who can stop you from achieving your goals is you. Whatever you put in the forefront of your mind, the doubt, the anxiety, the negativity, is all controlled by you. So push it aside this year. Take the time to be a bit selfish, to put yourself first and commit to your goals.I always find that I put other people first, which is never a bad thing, but then I put myself last. So I need to myself higher upper on the ladder this year because sometimes we do deserve to be slightly selfish.

But don’t overdo it. Trust me, it will get ugly otherwise.

Outfit Details: Dress - Boohoo (old) / Bag: Charles & Keith / Shoes: Aldo (old)

Make yourself as many goals as you want. No one is good at just one thing, so why not channel our energy into all our passions, rather than just one. New Year’s Resolutions always tend to be just one thing (well at least in my circle), but New Year’s Goals can be as many as you want.

So I dare you to challenge yourself for 2018. Go where you haven’t gone. Do what you haven’t done. But all the while be yourself. Nurture yourself to be the best version of you. As I’ve learnt from the person I trust most in my life, you’re not here to live this one life to please others. This life is yours. Live, laugh and love for yourself. 

Make your goals and work to achieve them. I know I will.