Monday 4 December 2017

Back To Basics & Losing Your Creative Flow

So it's been a while. And by a while I mean nearly two months. Where have I been? Well I'm trying to figure that out myself as I sit here and write this. Trying to wrap my head around what actually has happened has become quite hard but I think I'm starting to get back into the swing of things. 
You know that saying, "Life gets in the way", well I didn't think that was really true until it actually happened. And along the way I just lost my creative flow and for me, it's probably one of the worst things that could happen to me. I've never been a sporty person, I've been academic but where I thrive is in my creativity and I think anyone who knows me well can agree. 

This doesn't just mean in terms of my fashion. I'm a writer, whether it's blog posts, creative writing or songwriting. I've just been completely blocked. I've had all these ideas but I've been frustrated in the way of executing them, bringing them to life. I have this awful tendency to be a perfectionist. Everything has to look or sound perfect. I always think the quality of my content is never as good as everyone else's. Comparison is a killer, really. I follow all sorts of bloggers on social media who inspire me and with that inspiration comes compare and contrast. What I fail to remember is that these bloggers have worked so hard to establish themselves and their blogs are their jobs. That's not the case for me. 

My blog is something I started in in 2014 at university when our lecturers told us that it would be good to start one for a creative outlet and it could be on anything that we were passionate about. The first thing that came to mind was fashion. I knew even then that there are so many fashion blogs out there, so what would make mine different? I didn't have any proper equipment or photographer to help me, but this was just a creative outlet right? It wasn't going to be something to serious? But there came a point where I really enjoyed it and I found that maybe someone, somewhere would actually find my style and views interesting. What has set me back is that I haven't put in the effort. 

I continue to doubt myself. I think we all do. But sometimes it just becomes too much. Juggling all the aspects of my life means that I pushed away the time for my blog. I thought that the clothes I have aren't good enough or have already been seen to post again and that you, the reader, would just get sick of it. I thought my photo quality or my Instagram feed wasn't good enough either. I don't have the latest camera or iPhone but I do have a DSLR and a pretty good iPhone so why wouldn't that suffice? And again, I don't look like a lot of the other bloggers out there - that's definitely a big setback. My body image has always been something that's hindered me in anything I do, but I'm working on it and lately I've been feeling a lot better about myself, more confident and I think I'm actually starting to love myself a bit more. That's definitely an improvement on where I have been for years, since I was about 13 and my whole moral on myself was just plummeted far below the surface of anything I could see. 

But I've just slapped myself (metaphorically, of course) to get myself out of this rut. Regenerating my creative flow is so important to me and I wanted to take the time to do so. Even if it just means taking 5 minutes out my day or my week to deliver content. So here I am, doing it again. Back to basics. Raw words and photos. Just three iPhone photos of old pieces but a new outfit. Just me.

I hope you enjoy it. And I hope you stick around for more content coming every week. And overtime, I promise the quality will be better, if not for your sake but for mine!

Lots of love, 

Emily xx


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